Reflections On A Year

2010 was a very tumultuous year for me with extreme valleys and mountain tops causing a lot of reflection on many personal searches.
Like most people, I am constantly seeking the meaning of life, and each year, as I search, I end up back closer to where I was as a youth, but with a greater perspective of what is important.

Spiritually, having grown up in a pretty fundamental, but not Pentecostal group (Free Methodist), I felt it too restrictive and rebelled as a young teenager. My searches lead me to the occult, paganism, hedonism, and just nothing to believe in.

Life was beginning to be a chore, I settled down a bit, got an education, and a new wife. But there was still something missing, so I searched out some churches, mainstream Protestantism, Pentecostal, and Non-Denominational. After a few years, I realized that none fit, and I started drifting again, went to a few Catholic Masses, some open study groups on Judaism, and even started reading the Quran.

Not finding what I wanted, I went back to drifting, did a lot of Internet searches and read, read a lot.

Recently I realized that my career which has been successful was bound by strict rules to perform the Quality Functions I love to do and get paid well to do. Strict rules, that if were broken, caused the whole Quality to program to collapse.

I realized that I liked the rules and the Old Testament teachings of my youth started coming back to me. I finally found out that in the majority they were based on practical ways of living my, not restrictive rules that limited me to expression, wants, needs, and pride in my accomplishments as the New Testament Non- Denominational churches do. This along with the Wealth, Riches, and Prosperity Ministries, along with the rife judgement so prevalent in these mega and cultish churches caused me to drift away.

I decided that I would check out Quaker teachings, some more about Judaism, and make a choice. Old Testament ways became more important and I reflected more on the Creation/Evolution arguments, make a few other queries, and find out where the Free Methodist church stood today.

As I checked out the website, I found that the spin-off was really more about slavery issues than anything else, the Free Methodists being staunchly anti-slavery. Having traveled the world and seen exploitation at it's worse in sexual slavery (pre-teens), natives being held in virtual slavery or forced to the dangerous jobs for only a few pennies, ex-pat workers being exploited in the ultra rich countries like the UAE, immigrants seeking a future ridiculed, exploited, and arrested in "the super power nations", and even the penal system in the USA being used to fill prisons and work in the prison industries that are owned, controlled by, or having vested interests of the politicians and the ultra wealthy.

So now, I am going to visit a local Free Methodist congregation to see what it is like today. I know that the teachings and the simplicity I seen there is important to me and I wonder if I am the prodigal son, going back to his roots. I do not proselytize, but I hope my search ends as I near my 65th year. More on this later.